Avatar Sucked Just As Much As I Thought It Would

So I wasn't expecting much when I finally dragged my feet to the movie theater to see Avatar. And I didn't get much, either.

First of all, I want to know what idiot woke up one morning, called James Cameron, and said "Jim, you know how you've been wanting to make a movie about the rape of Native Americans by European gold-seekers and colonists? We need to set that mother fucker in SPACE, Jim. Mother fucking SPACE."

" 'Cuz I get a thousand hugs..."

Also, why is it that the universal formula for aliens always involves giving them elongated bodies and four fingers? Sure, Cameron got all creative on us by giving them cat features, and, oh yeah--USB ports dangling from the back of their heads that allow them access to every other form of life on the planet. It hurt my feelings to know that the writers thought I was too fucking stupid to understand the metaphorical bond that the Navi have with nature; they navigated around my obvious retardedness by allowing the Navi toliterally connect to animals. Talk to trees. And also to upload and download memories into forest networks.

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As you can see by this very complicated formula, the Navi were

created through years upon years of Panthro/Roswell fucking.

So yeah, the story was recycled, the writers treated us like we just failed the second grade, the movie was two and half goddamn hours (not to mention $957), the aliens were created to be beautiful blue cat people instead of being realistic in any way, and every character was made out of cardboard. Am I forgetting anything? No, but James Cameron is:

PHYSICS

I'm all for losing myself in the movie experience. Suspension of disbelief and all of that shit. But I'm pretty sure that hundreds of tons of rock cannot float thousands of feet in the air. Pretty fucking sure. Seeing these mountains raised some obvious questions for me. Like, "why are those mountains floating? How is that possible?"

Let's assume for just a minute that the atmosphere on Pandora is dense enough to support floating mountains. Let's also assume that the rest of the rock on the surface of the planet doesn't float due to its cohesive properties. What the fuck is that waterfall doing there? If I remember my water cycle charts from middle school correctly, water doesn't come from fucking nowhere. And how come the rock can support enough water to generate a waterfall, but the WATER STILL FALLS OFF THE SIDE?

I can forgive a lot of things from you, James Cameron. You made Terminator, for fuck's sake. But this is inexcusable. Never touch film again. Not even high definition, 3-D film. Ever.